There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
