love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
