Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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