Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
you never un-have a 4some
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize