Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
