i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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