i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
