Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
