some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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