Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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