Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
