I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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