I could make wine with my vomit
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize