it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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