so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
