I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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