I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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