Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
