Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
