Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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