What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
