Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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