I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i think i just lost a toe
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
