He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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