ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'd cum for enchiladas.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
