The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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