no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My liver just had a heart attack.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
