Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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