I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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