spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
