Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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