We're like a lot better than the average bears
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize