Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
