My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It's official drugs can't kill me
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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