after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
