Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
