Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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