If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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