What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
and you fell through a lawn chair
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
