I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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