We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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