Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
