Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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