capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
