It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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