we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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