i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
