My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
There are leaves in my underwear?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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