At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
it's like iHOP with fire
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
