Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
