Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
