I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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