I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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