If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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