i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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