may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
